Ahh Paddy,

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royals
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Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:24
5 (who?)
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#1
royals 9435 posts Great White

Posted: Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:24 by royals

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses &lies on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want don't you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
#2
royals 9435 posts Great White

Posted: Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:31 by royals

Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbour's dog is barking like mad in the garden.
Paddy says 'To hell with this!' & storms off..He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks 'What did you do?'
Paddy replies 'I've put the dog in our garden,lets see how they like it!'

#3
pokerconor 385 posts Pufferfish

Posted: Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:36 by pokerconor

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment, and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me... I know 'em all.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'

The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. Its W.'

FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND COP!'
#4
Lanber1 11 posts Whitebait

Posted: Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:38 by Lanber1

Edited: Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:39 by Lanber1

In a train carriage there was an Englishman, Paddy & a spectacular looking blonde.
After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.
When they leave the tunnel, the Englishman has a big red slap mark on his cheek.

The blonde thought “That englishman wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the irishman, who must have slapped his face”
The english man thought - “That Bloody Paddy put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me”

Paddy thought - “I hope there’s another tunnel soon so I can smack that englishman again”

"Paddy Jokes work both ways"
/lol
#5

Posted: Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:18 by scarfacechen

LMAO ^^ "Paddy Jokes work both ways"
#6

Posted: Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:36 by Pkr1princess

In a train carriage there was an Englishman, Paddy & a spectacular looking blonde.
After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.
When they leave the tunnel, the Englishman has a big red slap mark on his cheek.

The blonde thought “That englishman wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the irishman, who must have slapped his face”
The english man thought - “That Bloody Paddy put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me”

Paddy thought - “I hope there’s another tunnel soon so I can smack that englishman again”

"Paddy Jokes work both ways"
/lol


Lanber1, 07/11/2009

Lmao very good happyhappyhappy
#7
royals 9435 posts Great White

Posted: Sun, 08 Nov 2009 13:06 by royals

lmao they do indeed n1.
1

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