Well, I would have if I had been dealt some cards. A day later I can remember off by heart the best hands I received during the first 3 hours, because there were so few of them. I played just four hands: 88, 55, A5, and KJ. Yes, those were the best hands...hardly dynamite are they?!
I have NEVER had as bad a run of cards as I am getting on this particular day. I don't even get any suited connectors with which I would feel confident to make a few moves - absolutely nothing. I read once that if you're dealt 1,000 hands the average would come out at Q7. No kidding, I honestly think I must have averaged around J3. Off-suit.
During the break I pace around chain-smoking and console myself that my chip stack is only down about 10%, which is brilliant considering the garbage that has come my way. And it’s not as though I am missing out on any flops - you know the thing, 'Oh, I wish I had played that 94 off suit' as you see the flop come down 9 4 4. There's none of that, which again is some consolation. And I'm glad I haven't been making any stupid moves because every time I see hands shown down someone has a monster. I am so jealous!
So back I go into the game and sit there in silence thinking ‘my luck should turn around, surely?’. Nope. Incredibly, it gets even worse. I feel a horrible mixture of boredom and anger and don't want to engage in conversation with anyone. I am just too envious of them, especially one player who in a single round of No Limit shows AA, KK and AK. Spread the love dude!
Me? I literally play two hands - A9 (I know, I know, it looked amazing at the time) and QT, the latter winning me a semi-decent pot. Again I go into the second break just happy to be somewhere near my starting stack, but now I’m really gagging for some hands because blinds are going up and the Limit round has reached 300/600 - I only have 7,000 chips. My prayers though, are answered.
Big Slick does the trick
On my return we hit the Limit round, I am on the button and get AK. Raise. Flop is QJX. The big blind bet out. I’ll call this one down all day, which I do and hit the ten and my straight on the river! This fills me with pride for staying tight all day and virtually doubles me up to somewhere above 10K. Sweet.
I sit tight again, saying nothing, and not doing a lot either, and we're back on to No Limit. Allen Cunningham has joined the table and he re-raises my JT button raise. I fold. I still have 9K in chips which is fine, and half the field has gone. Next I’m in the big blind. Blinds are 150/300/25. There’s a raise to 700 and one caller. After another player re-raises to 2,300, I look down and see the glorious sight of KK. I’m definitely going to shove and if it’s aces I’m up against then so be it.
Disaster strikes
I move all-in for another 6,000. *Please, please double me up.*
I very much doubt I’ll get the call because I’ve been so damn tight all day - these guys MUST know I have a hand. The initial raiser and caller both fold. The re-raiser, who has a stack of maybe 20,000, calls. Geez, he must have a hand. I flip my KK over and look over to see what I am up against…
A5 offsuit. Er, hello?!! I’m a solid favourite. I can’t wait to begin stacking my newly won chips and move seamlessly towards the final table. 'Please no ace, please dealer, no ace.' The flop comes. It is ... wait for it. ... oh, for god’s sake, do I really have to tell you? The ****** ****** ****** flop is A 5 Q. Nothing on the turn or river. I just say, “#!~$^*@£ hell”, get my bag and leave. These are tricky times indeed.