Playing online is a whole lot more fun

If you’d asked me a couple of weeks ago if I preferred playing poker live or online, I'd have gone live all the way. I’d have said it’s more sociable and, if you win, you’re usually in a place where you can celebrate in style. When I win online the best I’ve mustered up is running around the flat cheering. Well now I’ve switched, and it all happened in the space of one miserable long-distance live deep-stack, just after finishing work on the new issue of Stacked.

First of all, this isn't a protracted bad-beat story. I've played enough deep-stack tournaments to know you're always going to run into a stinker every now and again, but this was the worst. I ended up staying in for about nine hours, always hovering within 10% of my starting stack either way. I would say it was nine hours of my life wasted, but that wouldn't take into account the fact that I finished too late to get the last train home.

Dullards and donkeys

Now if this time had been spent on a lively table with a bit of banter it would have been okay, but I ended up on a table of iPod-listening, sunglass-wearing, 'serious' poker players. The dealer was the most vocal person, and only because she had to repeat the bet sizes after players had slipped one ear out of the music to ask what had just happened.

I then made the mistake of hitting Nottingham city centre to look for a late night bar and found myself in the middle of a war zone. One fight I witnessed (there were several) involved a huge man trying to head-butt a bouncer, while three or four people clung to each arm in a bid to stop him. I didn't know whether to laugh or look concerned, so I took refuge in a local curry house.

The next day I found I couldn't change my pre-booked train ticket and had to hang around in Nottingham for a few hours and eventually arrived back in London, exhausted, early evening. I glanced at my beautiful, pristine flat, spotted my laptop, eyed the cold cans in the fridge and slapped my forehead, figuratively of course.

So for me, it's all about online poker now, especially now I've got wi-fi in the garden. If you're interested, I shall be playing all future deep-stacks in shorts, on my sun lounger, with a jug of Pimm’s or cold tin of lager by my side and, finally, a proper reason to wear shades at the ‘table’.